Only now just had time look at these. Have to say I enjoyed 'Outside my
window' - I've got into a similar rhythm with a similar subject so maybe
Welsh (English?) streets are similar. Had to laugh when I got to 'Some
bastard starts to play a bass guitar.' and liked 'I'm heading for the other
side of what' - I know it turns to tell the 'what' but liked 'the other side
of what' as it stands.
Found the early parts of 'The Cathedral' interesting but a bit discursive.
Got more into it by the time I got to:
The sacred is just a light
that sometimes stains the skin
of the old profane faces.
I put my hand on these faces
crusted with dried-up green
and warmed to them, as the sun
must so often have done.
I would have tried to get rid of 'just', only because I'm always using it
myself - sometimes it's OK but I try to remember that it's a weasel word
usually. But maybe not - just thinking.
Really liked 'Blizzard' - I thought it was a bit spooky/scary, but I'm not
much acquainted with snow of any dimension. Liked the promise of 'and things
do not begin. But they do.'
Wasn't so sure about 'Dragons' - I also wasn't convinced entirely about the
repetition - and I'm from a part of the world which used to be beyond the
'here be dragons' on maps. And we have Chinese dragons hanging about,
mostly. But in saying all that blah blah, I still got pulled into it.
Liked the idea of 'By the forge' and things like 'a numbness in the sky' but
what did I really want - less or more? Not sure. 'Museum of the forest' -
liked 'Chanterelles grew in the carpet.' yeah, good idea. 'Sleepers' -
especially like how it moves - the stepped lines. And 'Late June' - all
those syllables, the play of it and ending on 'incomprehensible'. Great.
Is this is English? What was it - Home Counties Expressionism? Don't know
but there's a restraint, a formality, within which weird and dark moves. And
repays a visit - which you can't always say these days. Thanks Matthew. But
also like the ocean poems on your site - we've spoken on this before.
Different to these.
Best,
Jill
_________________________________
Jill Jones
50 Ruby Street
Marrickville NSW 2204
AUSTRALIA
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http://homepages.ihug.com.au/~jpjones
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