It just shows what a personal thing rhythm is. While I appreciate the
importance of varying the rhythm, I find that of the first line rather
ugly - a very slow, heavily stressed first half of the line, and the second
half running away very fast. As for the Wyatt, I think it's a marvellous
line but not a pentameter. It seems closer to four- stress with a caesura,
as in alliterative verse. I remember Attridge has an analysis of the poem,
in which he tries to make sense of it as a poem in pentameters. It seems to
me that Wyatt just hasn't quite managed the transition into the new-fangeld
metre yet. (And perhaps his poem actually gains in resonance and power from
that.)
Best wishes
Matthew
-----Original Message-----
From: Robin Hamilton <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Date: 19 July 2001 13:19
Subject: Re: Sonnets
>From: "Matthew Francis" <[log in to unmask]>
>
>> >Drunk driver heed this, were you not blind,
>>
>> needs an extra syllable to make it flow smoothly, eg:
>>
>> >Drunk driver heed this, were you not so blind,
>
>I prefer the original line here. OK, it is one syllable short, but the
>strong medial pause after "heed this" makes up for it. The rhythmic effect
>Josephine achieves here would be lost with Matthew's change (which,
>admittedly, makes the line run smoother). Also, the emphasis would switch
>in the second half of the line from "you" to "were".
>
>Consider the line from Wyatt's "They flee from me ..." where there's a
>similar effect:
>
> 'It was no dream. I lay broad waking ...
>
>Robin
>
|