Wendy Cope! Wendy Cope! Wendy Cope!
hoping it will gain her some readers and boost sale of her new book _If
I Didn't Know_, some selections from _Serious Concerns_ and _Making
Cocoa for Kingsley Amis_
Another Unfortunate Choice
I think I am in love with A. E. Housman,
Which puts me in a worse-than-usual fix.
No woman ever stood a chance with Housman
and he's been dead since 1936.
Her Waste Land Limericks are brilliant:
In April one seldom feels cheerful;
Dry stones, sun and dust make me feel fearful;
Clairovates distress me,
Commuters depress me--
Met Stetson and gave him an earful.
II
She sat on a mighty fine chair,
Sparks flew as she tidied her hair;
She asks many questions,
I make few suggestions--
Bad as Albert and Lil--what a pair!
III
The Thames runs, bones rattle, rats creep;
Tiresias fancies a peep--
A typist is laid,
A record is played--
Wei la la. After this it gets deep.
IV
A Phoenecian called Phlebas forgot
About birds and his business--the lot,
Which is no surprise,
Since he'd met his demise
And been left in the ocean to rot.
V
No water. Dry rocks and dry throats,
Then thunder, a shower of quotes
From the Sanskrit and Dante.
Da. Damyata. Shantih.
I hope you make sense of the notes.
and one of her Strugnell's Sonnets
The expense of spirits is a crying shame,
So is the cost of wine. What bard today
Can live like old Khayyam? It's not the same---
A loaf and thou and Tesco's Beaujolais.
I had this bird called Sharon, fond of gin---
Could knock back six or seven. At the price
I paid a high wage for each hour of sin
And that was why I only had her twice.
Then there was Tracy, who drank rum and coke,
So beautiful I didn't mind at first.
But love grows colder. Now some other bloke
Is subsidizing Tracy and her thirst.
I need a woman, honest and sincere,
Who'll come across on half a pint of beer.
----
I think she's a fine poet when not being funny, but her parodies and
other comic pieces are brilliant.
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