I think what is getting me is the syntax, esp the repetitive subject
predicate. The unexpected verbs don't work so well when the sentences mirror
each other so closely. Or do they?
You're absolutely right, let time tell its side. And in case the above has
obscured it, I love this piece.
Great to see so many poems appearing. The real presence of David Birc. just
shines through his. And as for Trevor's: How does he do that impeccable
analysis fused to primal imagery? Very potent. Keep 'em coming.
best
Randolph
----- Original Message -----
From: <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, February 23, 2001 9:28 AM
Subject: Re: list mores
> Thanks, Randolph -
>
> >Small thing, the verse beginning _Here in river Williamstown_ and ending
> >_Blue jellyfish inflate behind barbed wire_ jarred, seeming formulaic in
> >comparison with the (inspired) rest.
>
> I sort of wanted a quotidian and literal "bit" there, for a number of
> reasons - but you could well be right. I might be able to tell in a
> couple of years - it seems to take that long to settle -
>
> Best wishes
>
> Alison
>
>
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