Jim,
Maybe you and I wander in different circles as I have known many gay male
couples that considered themselves married - not sanctioned by the State or
by any religious institution but simply ( or not so simply) a committment
to each other. Many had ceremonies and many sent announcements.
If I worked with an organization that had a newsletter or a web page I
would probably announce these marriages just as I would any other.I can see
the following announcement:
Congratulations to Jim and Mark on exchanging rings June 14th. Mary
and Richard
both got tied the knot in May (no, not to each other!) Jennifer and
Amanda will celebrate 14th years together August 23rd.
At first glance I admit I agreed whole heartedly that the exclamation point
was unnecessary and was homophobic. But on further thought I am not so
sure. Perhaps it is simply pointing out that the two people who did in fact
get married did not get married to each other - and their sex and sexual
orientation have nothing to do with it.
Homophobia is rampant everywhere I have lived - on both sides of the
Atlantic. It is pervasive in both blatant and subtle ways. I do not dismiss
that everything must be done to eliminate it and I do see how this
explanation mark can be taken in two very different ways. I for one would
not NOW use the explanation mark in this circumstance - but I also do not
think it can be ASSUMED to be a homophobic joke.
Susan Fitzmaurice
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