Hi
>From my own personal experience my mom took 2 years to die from a massive
stroke. She was a vegatable my brother who is 11 years older than me and
likes to tell me what to do and when. Well he became the shrinking lilly
backing further and further away from her and me.
In the end when I got the call she was dying please come I called him at
work. This was at 12noon I made it to her bedside in two hours he showed up
at 7:30PM excuse I had to cash my check, take my wife shopping, pick my
daughter up from dance lessons.
He clearly could not bear the suffering neither could I but I became the 2
years bedside companion to a woman who was no longer my mom.
Glad to help you if you really need details and feelings email me directly.
I really enjoy telling this story so people know how it is to die.
Pat
On Tue, 9 May 2000 09:38:58 EDT, [log in to unmask] wrote:
> Dear List,
>
> Has anybody had experience, either personal or professional, of family
> interaction arising at times of significant loss.
>
> What I am interested in is how families interact at times of significant
> loss. In particular when families have become estranged through 2nd
> marriages, moving away from each other geographically and so on... and
then
> coming together when a pivotal family member dies.
>
> What occurs? or is likely to occur? Do families fall back into the
positions
> they occupied within the family before they moved away or does something
else
> occur? Do old resentments arise. What occurs when a family member has
> changed significantly and refuses to occupy its old family position and
> therefore function, such as, 'The carer' or 'the black sheep' or the
> 'scapegoat' or do all these roles get
> re-enacted whenever a family meets, i.e. at xmas, anniversaries, wedding,
> etc. or is loss different?
>
> look forward to your comments
>
> Diana
PSYCHOLOGY IS TO HELP NOT HINDER
Pat Rauch
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