Subject: Coupla Olympic gags
Date: Wed, 27 Sep 2000 16:11:19 +1100
These jokes are vaguely Olympic. They were forwarded from an agent
working at Wolfram and Hart Solicitors.
Captain
Apologies if you have heard these already....
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly
impressed, he buys a pack.
Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"So what colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly.
"Why don't you wear Silver" the wife responds wryly, "it would be nice if
you came second for a change".
Three international convicts were on the way to prison. They were each
allowed to take one item with them to help occupy their time while
incarcerated.
On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"
The French convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to
paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Claude Monet of prison."
Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"
The Israeli convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I
brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of
games."
The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to
himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug?
What did you bring?"
The Irish convict pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said "I brought
these."
The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?"
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well, according to this, I can
go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating . ."
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