Thanks for those comments Helen. The poem was not
really about anything, just a little juxtaposition of
colours, the cold bureaucratic white of the title
beside the mouldy green pastoral patina of the others.
It's not anything very important to me, I just felt
that after months of being on this e group and
probably several dozen postings I should get round to
poetry!
Cheers
Scott
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Subject: Re: Poem for Critiquing/Scott
From: "Helen Hagemann" <[log in to unmask]>
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As a *quorum* is a select group, usually enough people
at a meeting to make
it constitutional, I figure the first line sets up
the irony - as if to say
'there is the initiator/ideas person in attendance and
this person is doing
all the work, while in the second line - 'the rest
have their heads buried
in the proverbial sand, doing nothing' - if this is
the set up of the irony,
then *dipped in the sand* doesn't seem to deliver this
effect strongly
enough. A better word than *dipped* perhaps.
Just guessing.
Best
HH
>>
>
> THE QUORUM
>
>
> a single drop loads the foliage
>
>
> *
>
>
> treetops dipped in the earth
>
>
=====
"Why is it not possible for me to doubt that I have never been on the moon? And how
could I try to doubt it? First and foremost, the supposition that perhaps I have
been there would strike me as idle. Nothing would follow from it, nothing be
explained by it. It would not tie in with anything in my life... Philosophical
problems occur when language goes on holiday. We must not separate ideas from life,
we must not be misled by the appearances of sentences: we must investigate the
application of words in individual language-games" - Ludwig Wittgenstein
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