> What if your partner in bed loves to have some > grade of eroticism
verging to
> De Sade practices.
> Would you abhor her/he? Think she/he is ill?
> Take her to the psychiatric
> ward?
> See her/he as worrying bestial or inclined to dictatorship?
I'd ask a very straightforward question of such a person: what do you
*think* of your desire. Not: do you have desire X or desire Y - I have
desires alpha to omega, including some really disturbing shit I'm happy to
keep to myself, but I also have a *brain*. I don't worry overmuch about
people's unconscious inclinations - mine are worrisome enough - I worry
about their *judgement*. It's one thing to be aroused, at one level or
another, by cop costumes and displays of theatrical brutality, and another
to work that arousal into one's conception and practice of erotic intimacy.
The former is just your normal human fucked-up-ness. The latter is a
concrete betrayal of the brutalised. I won't do it, and if anyone I love
asks me too, then that's tough in all sorts of different ways at once - but
I *still* won't do it.
- Dom
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