>>Government 101
>>
>>FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your "lord" takes some of the milk.
>>
>>PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them
>>
>>in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the
>>cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
>>
>>BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: Your cows are cared for by former chicken
>>farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from
>>the
>>chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the rules
>>say
>>you should need.
>>
>>FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
>>care of them, and sells you the milk.
>>
>>PURE COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your
>>neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most
>>"need."
>>Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows die of
>>starvation.
>>
>>RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You take care of them but the
>>government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and
>>sell
>>it on the black market.
>>
>>PERESTROIKA: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the
>>Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell
>>it
>>on the "free" market.
>>
>>CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and
>>shoots you.
>>
>>DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
>>
>>PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbor decides who gets the
>>milk.
>>
>>REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone
>>to tell you who gets the milk.
>>
>>BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government regulates what you can feed
>>
>>them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then
>>it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the
>>drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
>>cow.
>>
>>CAPITALISM: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to
>>buy cows because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
>>
>>PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price,
>>
>>or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
>>
>>ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
>>
>>SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
>>harmonica lessons.
>>
>>X-FILES-ISM: Your two cows turn out to be the government. They milk YOU.
>>You are saved by two generic bimbos, a female and a male with blow-dried
>>hair, after a car chase, involving UFOs, a gunfight, and a seance. The
>>aliens get the film rights.
>>
>>INTERNETISM: You have two cows. You decide to send one to a friend via
>>email, it gets lost in cyberspace and bounces back, causing your email
>>acct.
>>to go over the limit and auto-delete the cow. Your harddrive crashes,
>>causing your other cow to disappear.
>>
D. Cason
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