I did trouble to make what may seem a nice distinction between fantasizing
about adultery per se and merely fantasising about sex with other people. I
don't even know if I have the energy to explain this - baby just puked over
me, real work to do - except to say that a necessary part of the desire to
commit adultery must be the consciousness that one is married and the
specific wish to betray one's spouse. If I fantasize that I am having sex
with my neighbour, this is not necessarily the same as fantasizing that I am
betraying my spouse by having sex with my neighbour. It is the latter
fantasy that my spouse might understandably have some problems with: where
the desire is in part a desire for betrayal as such...
- Dom
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