My nephew Ian (a chemistry undergrad at Durham) sent me the following. I
said I would forward it to the list and return any comments/analyses to him.

Ian, by the way, when he was doing A levels, said that he was just not
interested in philosophy. "You know where you are with science," he said.
The conversation may still be ongoing, it seems.

......................................................................

The following is an (alleged) actual question given on University of
Washington chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. 

As for howmany souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions
that exist
in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there are more than
one
of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.  With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. 

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all
Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over. 

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
Freshman year, 

 ... that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you...,

... and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded
in having sexual relations with her...,

... then, possibility 2 cannot be true.

Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze. 

(The student received the only "A+" given.)


%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%