The Editor, _The Times_ :
Sir, one of your correspondents writes:
>> For instance, the jacket of H's B asserts: "Heaney is the one
>> > living poet who can rightly claim to be the Beowulf poet's
>> heir"
Arrant nonsense indeed ! Actually, _I_ am the sole living descendant of the
Beowulf Poet. Just look here --
B E O W U L F
B R O M I G E
--to remark the following points of identity :
1) same number of letters in each name.
2) identity of letters 1 and 3.
3) letters 4 are reflections each of each (v. Lacan,J,'Identity via
Mirroring : Was Freud Looking in The _Looking_-Glass When Writing _Totem
and Taboo_ ?')
4) e > r according to the great vowel-into-consonant shift (v.Dexter Gordon).
5) u > i according to the great vowel-into-another-vowel shift (v.Big Mama
Thornton).
6) l > g by the terms of the great consonant-into-another-consonant shift
(v.Bobby Blue Bland).
7) f > e via either the stupendous consonant-into-vowel shift (v.supra), or
careless transcription on the part of an ancestor (v. Enforced Illiteracy
in the British Working Classes, 1066-1920, eds. Thompson and Thomson).
I trust everyone can see this lineage is a more responsible argument to
back up such a claim, than anything a blurbiste can command.
Indignantly,
Sir David Bromige, B.Sh.A.,
'The Keyboards,'
1,The High Street,
Sea-Bass-in-Apple,
Nowhere Land
(, but not as Nowhere as all that malarkey--
'
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