"Rokeby Venus for Lisa Rosenmeier"
a fict/fact/ional account
1. The Crime
in the voice of a Robert Browningesque
policeman
march is known by the march hare
which in meadows across the land
does box and act in a manner that is mad
and upon one day in the capital of England
a woman, suffering from moral mania,
or perhaps intestinal catarrh, did,
wilfully, and maliciously strike exhibit A,
namely the painting known as Rokeby Venus,
she used a sharp implement and the damage
to this masterpiece is of such severity
that it will the experts say take an age
to put right, this woman, Mary Richardson
claimed she did it for another suffragette
a notorious, anarchist namely, Emily Parkinson,
and she has shown no remorse or no regret
at doing this inhuman, immoral, beastly act.
II. The Mirror
in the voice of a Wallace Stevens' restorer
it is not as bad as what it looks gentlemen
for example those fine breaks in the glass
could have been inflicted upon the canvas
by that anarchist slut mary richardson
but it'll take time to restore and bring to life,
this damage amounts to aesthetic sacrilege
and as I was saying to my dearest wife
who has not got the vote yet and brings
me my slippers and my late night suppers
How can one of her kind, do such things!
The Rough(er) Guide to England
II
"Make Yourself At Home"
Somewhere in the heart of England
in a pub called the Red Lion or Nag's Head
the locals welcome your presence
by a twist of the head and a quick glance
and it has the feel of the rub of the green
and it has the effect of stopping you clean.
someone says something funny in a lower voice,
you try to laugh, but its weight is not avoirdupois
the velocity of looks that follow the faux pas
send you backwards towards the door ajar
you could not play by the hidden rules
because you had not gone to any of their schools
or joined their private gatherings, or parties
and therefore in their midst you cannot be at ease.
you came from a place that is clearly out of bounds,
and even if you offered to pay for one of their rounds
you would still be no different than a loose impediment.
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