Stephen
apart from the ritualistic 'thanks' it's of interest to me that you pick
out the closing lines as the last four in particular took about 5 to 6
hours of writing/re-writing last weekend plus an overnight immersion in the
hydroptic balm of hypnos for the penultimate line which was literally
recast in my sleep. 'disassembling' too was a problem - it was present from
the first & had to be kept ( 'irony'= 'dissembling' which is echoed by...)
& only found its place at the last.
david
At 21:36 21/05/00 +0900, you wrote:
>David I liked your poem very much.
>esp this part:
>
>to last out a likeness
>on Renaissance oil
>as being lost and forgone
>with that of the disassembling
>dwarf in a canvas corner
>stripping the larynx of a lute
>under a low-hung eave.
>
>yours,
>
>
>Stephen
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