On [Sat, 12 Feb 2000 11:20:06 +0900]
"pain" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

>> So what do other poet's drive now and did they learn to drive on
>> tractors ...

in the 70's i learned to drive a double-decker bus with an old fashioned
"crash" gearbox. in heavy town traffic it could be quite physical work
having to stamp on a huge metal pedal twice in order to change gear (and
succeeding only if the revs were right and my sense of rhythm wasn't on
the blink - the noise which attended failure is unforgettable). i was
quite good eventually but for reasons known only to the transport
authority my driving test was cancelled on its eve, doh! did i then go
off and use this experience to get a car license? of course not. i was
not to drive again until i got my first motorcycle 10 years later.

i passed the motorcycle test first time and soon drifted into motorcycle
courier work in london. this was an amazing period in my life. i ranged
far and wide, meeting many strange and wonderful people on my travels.
the "grubbies" of york were probably the strangest crew - young green
tinged "acid rock men" who never went anywhere without a "beautiful
noise" and an oil mist and who built their own british iron and rode it
to oblivion after consuming prodigeous quantities of magic mushrooms and
acid and alcohol &etc. ha, they laughed at my honda but at least it
started first time every time even in the rain. several motorcycles, and
lives, later, having survived for two years - a long time in that
profession - i decided i was pushing my luck (i once had my head under a
london bus but managed to yank it out before it got squashed like a
watermelon) and sold the bike, a honda cx500, which was almost part of
me by then. did i then use this experience to get a car license? a car!
in london! of course not.

i bought a bicycle. another white-knuckle ride in some ways though not
so far ranging obviously. eventually there was a collision where i
managed to bounce off the front of a lorry somehow, though the bike was
destroyed.

recently i had a few car driving lessons. it was terrifying. i kept
using the right wing mirror instead of the rear view mirror and my habit
of accelerating round corners (so as not to fall off) was not very
popular with the instructor. i was encouraged to acquire a pair of
plimsoles as my boots were deemed unsuitable for fine pedal work - this
made me feel somewhat wrongfooted as it were before i even started the
lessons. the driving instructor was a rat-like little man who wore
slip-ons. his stream of consciousness witterings in relation to female
pedestrians passed en route were utterly depressing and we soon "fell
out".

so i still don't drive. but i do feel quite lucky to be alive, really.

regards

steve

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